Tag Archives: feeling fat

I’d rather have the “before” and “after” picture, side-by-side. Instead, I have this.

I would love to say that I finally reached my goal in record time. But I am back at the weight that I started. So this is real life?

I’d rather have the “before” and “after” picture, side-by-side, and enjoy the drastic difference in appearance, and cut out the grit and work in between. Instead, I have another list of “what didn’t work.”

What did I learn?

  1. Getting in shape, making time for fitness and changing lifestyle habit gets harder as I get older.
  2. I can start today – small changes, small decisions.
  3. Failure is fuel. The only thing that didn’t work was….me! The plan to get fit was great. The food available was great. A little too great, if you know what I mean. My fitness instructors were great. My workout clothes were great. Then essentially, it’s “user error.” But that’s great, too!

I read about Mira Rai on BBC online – a world-class runner who competes in extreme races. She didn’t train with fancy equipment. She didn’t have a coach. She just had the drive.

In this journey, I discovered I have more self-imposed detours than I have external roadblocks to blame.

So, what’s the plan? Do what I can. Then, do more.

Here is a foto from September! 🙂 My scheduled workout is really just once a week: Zumba + Sculpt at a fitness studio. It includes 30 minutes of cardio/dance, immediately followed by 25 minutes of circuit training with weights. I’m using 3lbs as light weights and 5lbs as my medium weight. I have carpal tunnel so when I feel the numbness, I stay with the 3lbs or use no weights during circuit. I detest mountain climbers but I have grown to tolerate them. My favorite exercise: Bent over reverse fly.

My current mantra: It’s gonna be great!

At 142lbs.
At 142lbs.

Stay tuned for how my past failures will fuel the drive to discover new things in this fitness journey.

Be sure to share! What failure have you experienced? How did you turn it around?




Talk about the WORKOUT, not the WEIGHT.

I’ve been making this mistake. I noticed my language was closely connected to my motivation.

I will be more mindful to talk about my workout, the fun things I do to stay active. I want to move away from the discouraging language I was using with myself. I would talk about my weight, how dissatisfied I was with the number, the dissatisfaction I had with the look and feel of my body.


How could I improve my body and introduce new activities into my life if I’m unhappy with what I have?

I learned to embrace exactly where I am and what I have, chubb and all. It is only then that I can begin working on my transformation from a place of love instead of disgust. We get involved with things we like. Not with things that repulse us.

Changing my language to talk about the next workout or fitness class is more encouraging and motivating than queasiness I feel when I know my midsection has triumphed over the belt and I feel like a loaf of bread with a string tied around it.

I have a fitness class this week. I will invest my thoughts on how I can become better and how I can challenge myself. I will start from a place of love. This will be my challenge. This will be my focus!