I am in my first year after chemo and radiation. It is also my first year after my hysterectomy. My body is still changing and adjusting in ways that are new. I’ve spoken with other women who have had hysterectomies and they share their stories about those ten or fifteen pounds that won’t go away. The majority of them shrug it off. I see that my body and face has taken on this bloated look that I didn’t have before. I’d be the first to blame age and gravity. But I feel the difference – the puffiness in my face and arms, the pull of midsection weight. It doesn’t feel good.
But I’m learning that I can make progress one pound at a time. To put things in perspective, I’ll take a stubborn fifteen pounds and a chance to enjoy my life with my daughter over cancer any day.
I am discovering what it means to be good to myself and to be gentle with my progress. This is isn’t the same as making excuses. It’s the skill of mastering that self-talk and to celebrate the small and triumphant victories that show me I’m healthy enough to watch myself go through these changes.
I learned that I don’t want to go BACK to what my body used to be. I am in a new stage of adjustment and I need to get to know my body all over again, with it’s new dimensions and tendencies. I want a NEW body – the one that I took time to get to know and shape into a powerhouse that I visualized.
One step at a time. One dream at a time.